A Beautiful Thought, a Testimony of Truth

Have you ever found yourself in deep thought when suddenly things just make sense? When something that comes into your mind seems so real, and so beautiful, and yet so unexpected that you couldn't have possibly thought of it yourself? Perhaps there is nothing more beautiful than this moment. Some may justify and say it was our own mind coming up with the answer; that we knew the answer all along; that it was just a coincidence. My experience tells me otherwise. This beautiful thought was truly a testimony of truth from my Heavenly Father. I was sitting in class today feeling particularly sad. My heart was especially hurting, and I began to wonder why i was feeling like this again. I started to wonder why i felt this pain- why did i have to lose someone I learned to trust more than myself, why had I lost someone that I had grown to love so deeply? Why did i feel insignificant, like there was something I could have done, and why did i feel so flawed? Why must things in life just end and not work out? I wished that everything in life could just be good and beautiful and happy. In the midst of my heartache, I felt something wash over me, a feeling I cannot properly put into words. I felt peace, i felt reassurance, I felt loved, and I felt joy. This, I thought, must be the kind of joy my Heavenly Father has in store for me. And then, if only for a moment, i had the feeling of joy for my future; that one day I would meet someone who would love me more than I could ever hope. I felt the excitement of marrying in the temple and having a family. I knew at that moment that what i was feeling had to be my Heavenly Father telling me that all is well,and that my future holds great promise. I simply could not credit this joy I was feeling to anyone but my Savior. I know that one day the pain in my heart will ease, and that I will be able to love with a love that I didn't even think possible. One day I will feel significant, and i will feel good enough; I will feel as if I'm truly doing my mission here on Earth. I will feel this way because of the atonement. Not only did our Savior and Redeemer suffer for our sins, he suffered for our sorrows, our heartaches, our regrets, and our troubles. Through his atonement we can find joy again; we can look up with strength and gladness in our hearts. For his grace is truly sufficient. This afternoon i received a letter. As I opened it, I saw the simple words, "Tori, no one else can do what you do." As i read these words, i felt the spirit testify to me of the truth of these words. How significant and important each one of us is to our Heavenly Father is simply beautiful. He loves us, He needs us, and He wants us to return to Him more than anything. While we will face troubled times, there is not a tear that we will cry that our Savior will not dry. For He truly knows our sorrows. Look to our Heavenly Father, smile, and have faith in the future. "He hath made everything beautiful in his time." Ecclesiastes 3:11. The Lord will make everything right. We will come to a time in our lives when we will experience such perfect joy. A joy greater than any heartache we have or ever will experience. Be patient with yourself; allow the Savior to walk with you. He will ease your burdens, he will make easy your load. Our Heavenly Father trusts us; we must trust ourselves. The Lord asks of us, "Look unto me in every thought; doubt not, fear not. Behold the wounds which pierce my side and also the prints of the nails in my hands and feet. Be faithful." The Lord is waiting for us. When we keep an eternal perspective, things don't seem to matter much. What matters is that we do the best we can to keep our covenants and return back to him. "Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart." Psalms 27:14. Our Heavenly Father is here. He comforts us when saddened, He faithfully remains in times of change, and he dries all the tears that we may cry. What a beautiful time it will be when we can stand by our Savior and testify that "through thorny ways leads to a joyful end."

Hollywood-Themed Party + 3 Crazy Girls = THIS!!!

Last night two of my friends, Katie and Kayana, and I were invited to a Hollywood-Themed Party!! Needless to say, I was more excited about dressing up than the actual party! :) After hours of getting ready with tons of bobby pins, loads of hairspray, feathers, red-hot lipstick, and of course, fake eyelashes, which were rather uncomfortable..but WAY worth it, we showed up...one and a half hours late....I guess that's what you get for being 3 crazy girls!! :) We still had way fun and danced the night away! Here are some photos to recapture the night! (I believe if you click on them, the pictures will show up larger).

Some goals for this year...

This year my biggest goal is to find the beauty in life. Sometimes life seems to get "too busy," and I find myself missing the moments to stop and ponder and truly search for the many beauties in life. I was looking around the internet and was inspired by a painting I saw with some goals on it, so I decided to recreate the painting with several of my own goals added. I have made the goal to embrace change, to let go of my past and be willing to move on, and to sincerely smile. I have decided to forget my anxieties, trust in myself, be confident, and dance when everyone is looking :). I've decided to stop analyzing as much and to do unexpected things. I've made it a goal to not only try everything once but, to try everything twice, because everyone and everything deserves more than once chance. The Savior is so merciful and never stops giving us chances to come back to him; I want to be more like that. I've also made a goal to do more silly things and to not be as quick and anxious to grow up. Play in the rain , eat dessert first, and take an unplanned roadtrip. Most importantly I have been inspired to stop counting the minutes but instead count the laughs, come what may, and love it. These are but a few of my goals this year, but my hope is that these goals will help me to ultimately, find the beauty in life.

My Trip to Utah!!

My recent trip to Utah over Thanksgiving Break was everything I hoped for and more! Although it was packed with exciting and fun events, it started out with a scare at the airport! There was bad weather coming into Utah, and the pilots weren't sure if we would be able to make it all the way through. Since I was flying alone, you can imagine I was quite scared! The plane ride turned out to be the longest plane ride of my life! A constant headache and people who wouldn't seem to stop talking in the seat next to me, did not do much to make the plane ride comfortable! I made it from Nashville to St. Louis and almost missed my flight to Denver! After an hour and a half lay-over in Denver, the plane finally started its flight toward Utah. When I finally arrived to Utah you can imagine how relieved I was to finally be off the plane; I had been in the airport or on a plane from 2 P.M. to 11 P.M!! BUT It was all worth it the moment I saw Kristi running towards me in the airport!!! After waiting to get my bags, we finally made our way to Kristi's apartment where Kristi, her two roommates, and I had our first sleepover! We all piled our mattresses on the floor and laughed 'till nearly 3 in the morning! The next morning Kristi had me wake up at 7 for a hair appointment she had made...I was not pleased- haha. Needless to say, the trip was everything I hoped for and more! It was exactly what i needed after the stresses of school and dance! My trip was jam-packed with friends and family, some I wasn't even aware i had, 2 hour long bus rides, 15 BELOW ZERO weather, hours and hours of laughter, and embarassing moments at the creamery! Haha, I created memories I surely will never forget! The trip was made even more wonderful because I got to spend my 16th birthday with Kristi, who is my sister and best friend! It was surely a birthday I will never forget! I loved everything about Utah, and at some points, although very rare, I didn't even mind the blistering weather! :) I can't wait to go back, and I look forward to hopefully going there for college someday, in my distant but very near future! :)

Being a Teacher's Assistant at Tennessee Dance Arts Conservatory

This year I received the opportunity to become a teacher's assistant for a ballet and tap combo class. This opportunity has proven to be such a blessing in my life. These girls brighten up my day with their sweet composition and smiles. I absolutely love serving as an example to them and hopefully showing them what beautiful dancers they can become.

Receiving Strength Through Our Trials

This past summer my world was kinda turned upside down, and I was faced with many challenges I never thought i would have to face, nevertheless overcome. Through the Lord's unwavering strength, and the strength and love of many people along the way, I have found myself able to carry on through these trials. I have a testimony now, stronger than ever before, that the Lord gives these challenges to us so we can become stronger people, and because he knows we are strong enough to take on these struggles. I know that before I came to this earth, I told my Heavenly Father that I would overcome the trials that were given unto me and that I would do everything I could to come back to him. I can now say that I am grateful for these trials I have had to face, and even though I still have questions and feel lost at times, I know my Heavenly Father is there, waiting for me to call upon him in need. I believe we are defined by how we rise above our shortcomings, and I know my Savior not only knows, but has felt the struggles I am faced with every day. He is my strength and my motivation to carry on. I love him and will serve him with all my heart.

This was project done at Tennessee Dance Arts Conservatory's Summer Camp. We were assigned to come up with different shapes we could do with our bodies. We showed them to the class, and my dance teacher took our pictures!